Abolish weekends

My friend and fine writer Tim Mahoney, who has slung needed mud at my last two novels (always gracefully), has a deep idea:


by Tim Mahoney

I hereby propose to abolish weekends.

Nope, this is not a call to drag workers back to 19th Century standards, when they were lucky to get a Sunday off.

This is simply the recognition that the weekend has kept us in bondage long enough.


Every Friday, American workers start sneaking out at the morning coffee break. More follow at lunch, more still at the afternoon coffee break. By quitting time, only the temps and new hires remain, surfing the shopping, gambling and porn sites, as their betters drive for the beaches and lakes.

Every Saturday the amusement parks, beaches, camping sites, etc are crowded with desperados trying to cram a week’s worth of pleasure into a few frantic hours.

On Sunday afternoon, the highways are jammed with broken heroes debating whether to call in sick tomorrow. At sundown begins an unholy ritual, the Sunday Blues.

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