Here is a starchy tour de force. Good writing, too.
Baked potatoes are stoners
Spud is a good guy to have a beer with
and watch the game,
But when the conversation
Gets serious or sad
He must be composted.
Pringles are prissy thin little wankers
Fingerling potatoes play with themselves.
Russets are bores
Unless you do the mash potato with them.
Curly fries think they’re so damn cute.
Sweet potatoes lie all the time
Just ask a yam.
Taters are hicks.
I wonder how many potatoes
Were scalloped by Indians?
Au gratin can get a little cheesy
Do potato skins need a dermatologist to cook them?
Shoestring potatoes can trip you up
French fries are freaks!
Ketchup, salt, vinegar, mustard, ranch, etc.
Voila, they’ve done them all.
Chips have something fishy about them.
Hash browns are grease balls
Ruffles have wrinkles
Is potato salad really a salad?
I mean c’mon.
You could live on one bowl for…
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